


A Fleeting Existence Extended

by Sephirotha



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Drama, F/M, Love Triangles, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephirotha/pseuds/Sephirotha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Zero?" I called out hesitantly to the silver haired hunter who had his gun aimed for me, his face made of stone. <br/>My heart skipped a beat. I was going to say it. <br/>"I love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Zero?” I called out hesitantly to the silver haired hunter who had his gun aimed for me, his face made of stone.

_Kill him now!  You're a Pureblood, dodge the bullet and tear him apart!  Feast, eat, kill! KILL!_

My heart skipped a beat.  I was going to say it.

“I love you.”

_MANA! KI-_

My heart leapt as I heard the gunshot loud and clear, scaring away the birds in the trees and shaking me to my very core.  I was trembling on the spot as I waited for death.  But I realised that I hadn’t been hit.  I must be going mad, not that an uncle trying to control me telepathically was helping.  I wanted to clench my fists but my fingers were shaking too much.  I felt weak as I began to sway with the light breeze, slowly cracking my eyes open.  I saw the smoke from Bloody Rose first.  The gun was aimed in the air, Zero’s finger still around the trigger.  There was a hand gripping his wrist.  I turned my head to follow its arm and saw a second person.  Kaname.  The two vampires were staring at one another in the eye.  Zero’s expression seemed neutral, I couldn’t tell if he was angry or annoyed or relieved.  Kaname, I couldn’t see it clearly, but either way he could mask his emotions better.

I couldn’t take much more of it.  My legs collapsed beneath me and I hunched over, gripping my head.  I couldn’t make out Rido’s words anymore, it was just this huge cluster of shouting, crooning and demanding.  My whole body was shaking as the fact of me almost dying hit me.  Zero had pointed that gun at me and pulled the trigger with the intention to kill me.  I felt my eyes burn with tears.  Was I upset that he was happy to kill me?  Or should I be happy that he would have killed me at my request?  I don’t even know anymore, I just want things to go back to normal!

“Mana.”

A pair of hands were on top of mine and I tensed up.  The buzz in my head grew louder.

_Kill him!_

“Mana, come here.”

I was being shuffled forward, prodded up so I didn’t have to get up but I was kneeling and looking up at Kaname.  He pressed his lips to my forehead and I flinched back as the buzzing was cut off.  Next thing I knew, he had me in his arms and I tried to look for Zero, only to catch his back disappearing into the woods, in the direction where we had come from.  Kaname began carrying me off in the opposite direction and I began reacting violently.

“Zero!” I called as I tried to jump out of Kaname’s arms.

He didn’t look back as I reached out for him over Kaname’s shoulder.

“Zero!”

“Ssh.”

Kaname covered my eyes and the last thing I remember that day is darkness as I was forced into a sleep.

* * *

 

I woke to the sound of wheels clacking on rails.  I felt groggy and awful, despite waking up on some surprisingly comfy seats.  I felt ill, everything around me was moving and it didn’t feel right to lie down like this, all alone.  I missed Zero, I miss leaning on his shoulder and having his arm around me.  I felt protected and safe whenever he did that.  Even though it was most likely him being an older brother, I cherished it.  I propped myself up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes, and pushed myself back against the wall.

“Good morning.”

That voice chilled me to the bone.  I didn’t want to look across the room, not yet anyway.  I sat there quietly, still recovering from the sleep that the other occupant had forced me into.  I looked at my lap, spying the black coat that was sprawled out on my legs.  I rubbed out the rest of the sleep from my eyes before looking across to see Kaname sitting there, a calm look on his face.  It nerved me slightly but it didn’t seem like there was a storm on the horizon.  I didn’t say anything, I just sat properly on the seat, awkwardly holding the coat out to him.

“Keep it, it’ll get colder soon.”

I hesitated before placing the coat over my knees.  I glanced out of the window, watching the countryside fly by.  Was this still Japan? 

“We’ll be arriving shortly, can you walk?”

I nodded sharply, I didn’t want to be carried by him again.  I wetted my lips before ducking my head.

“Where?”

It was all that I could manage.  I felt weak, my knees are wobbling underneath the coat.  When had I begun to feel so feeble?  I felt pathetic.

“Somewhere safe, somewhere where you won’t be found.”

I didn’t like that answer.  I glanced up at him, he was still wearing that calm mask of his.  I felt…objectified.  Like I was some treasure about to be hauled off to be buried.  Be safe, be somewhere where I wouldn’t be found.  Silence fell between us again and I didn’t like it.  It was awkward, tense and very uncomfortable.  I parted my lips but couldn’t think of what I could say.  I sat there, probably looking like an idiot, staring at Kaname blankly, as if he had the answer to the secret of the universe.  I closed them, nibbling my lip as I tried to work my voice.

“Yuki.”

It tumbled out and Kaname blinked once before responding.

“She’s very worried but she’s safe,” he reassured me then glanced out of the window “We’re arriving at our stop.”

He stood and I shot up to my feet rather hastily.  My knees objected and I was falling over.  Kaname grabbed my shoulders and steadied me.  I flinched and he offered a small smile.

“Easy now.”

I felt like an invalid.  I was being treated like a glass figurine.  A pretty glass figurine that has only one purpose.  Stay in one place and look pretty.  He didn’t pick me up but his hand never left my back, pushing me in the direction that he wanted me to go.  I want to be with Zero.

* * *

 

This bed is too big.  I sat at the edge of the bed where Kaname had left me, staring at the door.  This is my room.  This cold, spacious room, is where I’ll be sleeping.  I shivered and brought my knees to my chest to hug my legs.  Kaname’s coat lay beside me as I stared at the white carpet.  This place is nothing like home.  Home, where I could stack my bed with pillows, stolen from around the house.  Where I could cover the floor with crappy sketches on those days when I can’t decide what to do.  Where I could pester Zero.  I leant my forehead on my knees.

_Mana…_

Panic filled me. 

_Mana…_

“Leave me alone,” I whispered “Please…”

_Mana…_

I brought my hands over my ears.

_I can make everything better.  Just tell me where to go to come and get you.  Open up to me, my sweet, little niece._

“Go away…”

“Mana?”

I am never going to get a moment of serenity, am I?  I glanced up to see Kaname in front of me, a glass of red liquid in his hand.  He offered it to me.

“You need to keep your bloodlust at bay.”

I stared at the glass warily before accepting it.

_No, don’t drink it, Mana!_

I shook off the buzz and pressed my lips to the glass.

_Drink his blood, Mana!  Don’t you dare drink that pathetic ‘replacement’!_

I tipped my head back to drink.  It was a mistake, my whole body did not like that decision.  The taste had me cringe but my arm jerked and threw the glass aside, spilling the mixture on my clothes, on the bed and on the carpet.  Kaname backed off as I gagged, hunching over and hurling the mouthful out.  I coughed as I tried to lick my lips, see if I could actually get any into my system.

_No, Mana!  Don’t try to submit!  You need real blood, you are a Pureblood!  You deserve nothing less!_

“Just leave me alone!” I screamed out.

Hands grabbed my face and I was pulled into Kaname.  His lips brushed my head and the buzz faded away.  He brought me forward, rocking me back and forth.

“We’ll find a way, Mana,” he said as he rubbed the back of my head “We’ll find a way.”

I wanted nothing more than to have Zero here instead of him. 

* * *

 

I want to draw.  I sat in the armchair within the empty living room, staring at the walls.  There were no windows.  It felt like a prison.  I stared at the blank walls, picturing them with different pictures.  I was picturing the outside world, fantasy worlds where I could lose myself.  Babbling brooks, colourful skies, wide fields that I could just run across.  I could spend hours picturing the outside world, being just an arm’s reach away from freedom.  Until I saw my name written in blood.  My throat burned and I pushed myself up to my feet.

_Don’t bother with those pills, Mana._

“It would help if you stopped whatever it is you’re doing to stop me from taking them.”

_I’m not doing anything, Mana.  It is all you.  You don’t want those pills, you want real blood._

“No, it’s all been explained to me, remember?”

_Yes, yes, my dear nephew ‘explained it all’, didn’t he?  But how do you know who which it is that is acting?  Am I provoking you to reject those…supplements?  Or are you rejecting them because you know your body needs blood and nothing else?_

I covered my ears and shook my head, denying every word.  I don’t even know how many I killed to drink their blood.  But it was difficult to swallow those pills and Rido was so not helping.  I needed them to survive, damn it!

_You need real blood!_

“Shut up,” I whispered and shook my head, pacing around the room “Shut up.  No, shut up.”

I stuck to that mantra whilst trying to block out his voice.  I only stopped when I realised I wasn’t alone.  Dropping my hands, I turned and saw Zero in the doorway, watching me.  When he realised I had spotted him, he turned his back and began walking away.

“Zero?!”

I ran after him, the buzz in my mind fading.  He marched down the hallway as I chased after him, ready to pounce on his back and hug him tightly.  I stopped myself in time, settling for grabbing his arm instead.  I dug my heels into the carpet, slowing him to a stop.

“Zero…”

Why did you leave me, was what I wanted to ask.  Where have you been?  Why have you decided to come now instead of sooner?  Are you here to take me away from here?  Please say yes to that, I want to leave here.  It was silent between us and I moved closer to Zero.  I hugged his arm, leaning my head on his bicep and smiling for the first time in a long while.

“I’m here to see Kuran.”

I hesitated.  Zero made no move to push me away but he wasn’t emitting a welcoming aura.  Actually, he’s always been like that, so that doesn’t really matter.

“About?”

“Rido.”

I winced as the buzz started in my head.

“Oh.”

“Where is he?”

“…Most likely the library.”

Normally, my big brother would be around me, observing me and being overall creepy.  I gave up conversing with him, just focusing on reading until my creative side began screaming at me to draw something.  I never asked Kaname for anything, I didn’t want anything from him.  Zero pulled his arm out of my grip and pressed a couple of pills into my hand.  I looked up at him in alarm as he put his tin away.  He then left me, walking off down the corridor and leaving me alone.  I felt the tears when they dropped off my chin.

* * *

 

And I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight either.

_Tell me where you are so I can come and get you!_

“No windows, I can’t even begin to describe where I could possibly be…”

_Then find a way out!  Run away, Mana!_

That was a tempting thought.

_I’ll take care of everything, just find your way out!_

“I just want peace,” I mumbled.

_And you’ll get it!  Just come back to me!_

“I’ll just be snatched up again and again,” I whispered “I want nothing to do with this family.”

_Mana…_

I opened my eyes at this point and hopped out of bed.  I wandered to my private bathroom and stared in the mirror, eyeing the bags that were forming under my eyes.  There were two reasons why I couldn’t get any sleep.  The first one, well, Rido certainly loved to try and probe my tired mind to get me to tell him where I was.  The second…  I yawned loudly, combing my fingers through my hair.  A few nights ago, I sensed someone in my room.  I don’t know if he noticed that I noticed, but Kaname was watching me sleep.  I’m sure of it.  Maybe he was observing Rido trying to break me whilst I was asleep?  Not that it mattered, it was beyond creepy.

I eyed my reflection wearily, remembering what had happened earlier this morning.  I got a papercut and it startled me that the blood stream lashed out and hit the nearby bookcase.  Kaname didn’t seem surprised but at the time but I was full on panicking that Rido had control over my body now and I was going to be dragged over to him like some puppet.  That’s when I was reassured that I had inherited the blood whip.  Well gee, that information could have been helpful when I was running with Zero.

_Mana, find a way out.  Come back to me.  I’ll teach you everything that you could do with your powers._

Alternatively, I could ask Senri for lessons.  Rido chuckled dryly in my head.

_You deserve a much better teacher._

I am getting sick and tired of this.  I glared at my reflection, as if Rido was somewhere in my face.  Wait…  I blinked in realisation.  Somewhere in my face…  I raised my hand to my right eye.

_Mana, what are you doing?_

That reaction made me sure that I was on the right track.

_Mana!_

I jumped as my left hand grabbed my right wrist, pulling it away from my eye.

_Mana, what good are you going to do if you damage yourself?_

“I won’t have to listen to you anymore,” I murmured.

_Mana, you’re tired.  Get some rest, sleep and we can talk in the morning._

Oh, so now he’s going to let me get some sleep.  Well somehow, I doubt that.

_Mana?_

I began struggling with the side of my body that wasn’t cooperating with me.  It made sense now.  Putting a part of him in my body so it could manipulate my mind and brain.  Well, only one side of my brain.  I struggled with myself, staring at the hand that had gripped my wrist so tightly, the blood circulation was starting to cut off.  Wait, blood! 

_Mana!_

My claws grew out at my will and I cut my four fingertips with the thumb claw.  Four blood whips shot out and one went straight for my eye.

_MANA!_

Pain blinded me as everything to the right of me disappeared.  I screamed as my blood whip ripped the eye out and blood was everywhere.  I remembered the pain and agony that night when Rido had done it before and I shrieked even louder as I held my eye socket, the blood whips disappearing.  The door opened and hands grabbed my shoulder.  I could just about register Kaname asking what happened, if I was alright, et cetera.  But I didn’t care.  Suddenly everything was so quiet.  And I passed out from the pain.

* * *

 

I woke up feeling serene.  I looked to the right and grimaced when I realised that I had really pulled my eye out.

“Mana?”

I had to turn my head fully to the right to perceive Kaname.  He looked upset, reaching out and cupping my cheek.

“Are you alright?”

I didn’t answer.  I just turned my blind eye to him and buried myself in the covers.  I couldn’t have felt better.  Everything was so peaceful.  Like a calm lake on a sunny day.  I sensed Kaname leaning over me, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

“Mana?”

I buried my face into the pillows.  I didn’t want to talk to him.  He had other ideas.  I heard him move to the other side of the bed, the left side, and leaned over to shake me by the shoulder.

“Mana, could you tell me what happened last night?”

“I took my eye out,” I answered simply.

“Why?”

“It wasn’t mine to begin with.”

His thumb ran circles around my shoulder as there was a pause.

“Mana, tell me more.”

I opened my eye to look up at his inquisitive look.

“I had my eye ripped out before by him.  I didn’t remember until I was turned back but he stuck his own eye into my socket.  He was controlling me from it.”

“And now?”

I closed my eye and nuzzled the pillows.

“I can’t hear him anymore.”

There was another pause and I drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 

The rest of the time I spent at that place I used to read and picture different landscapes.  Until Kaname approached me one day and announced Rido’s death.  We could leave this godforsaken place.  I felt ecstatic to finally leave but downtrodden to realise Zero wouldn’t be travelling with us.  I was pushed along again, Kaname’s hand firmly on my back as we left that house and made our way to the train station.  Reality crashed down on me was we rode off down the tracks.

“Would you prefer a spring or summer wedding?”

I had been admiring the wintery scenery that flowed past us when Kaname asked the question.  It took a while to absorb it and I stared at him in alarm.  I had completely forgotten that I decided to accept Kaname’s proposal to marry him instead of Yuki.  Silence stretched out between us as I stared at my fiancé with initial surprise before focusing my eye back to the window.

“I don’t mind,” I mumbled.

“Spring weddings are nice, I find.  Should we consider March?”

I shrugged slowly, looking at the frosted meadows.

“…What is the date today?” I asked softly.

“Second of February.”

I glanced at him sharply.  He wanted to get married that soon?!  Maybe I’m mistaken.

“When you say March…”

“Is it too soon?  Would you prefer April?”

He actually meant that he was arranging the wedding to happen within a couple of months.  I shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to look at him.

“We hardly know each other…”

“That can change.”

I felt the seat move and I realised Kaname had moved to sit next to me.  He turned my head towards him and gave me a soft smile.

“It’s alright to have cold feet,” he said “A lot has happened.  There must be a lot that is on your mind.”

“You sure you don’t want to stick with marrying Yuki?  I mean, she has both eyes.”

“You saw how close she was with Zero.”

And another stab in the heart, expertly done by Mr Douche over here.  I flinched away and Kaname brought me closer to him.  He placed a hand over my eyepatch.

“It looks adorable,” he said and I looked up at him as if he was insane “You wear it better than that vampire hunter.”

Yagari?  I snorted slightly.  Kaname kissed my forehead and drew me into an embrace.  I awkwardly shifted in his arms, just focusing on anything else other than him.

* * *

 

“Mana!”

I flinched when I heard my older sister cry out happily and watched as she ran down the stairs to greet us.  She froze, arms in the air that were ready to crush me in a hug.  She was staring at my eyepatch.  We stood there in silence, looking at one another.  I felt guilt crush me, the last time I saw her I attacked her.  I had shouted abuse at her, declared that I didn’t want to be her sister anymore.  She couldn’t take her eyes off the eyepatch and I huffed, coming up with only one thing to say.

“I know,” I sighed exaggeratedly, brushing my hair back to rub my head “It’s such a pain.  But on the plus side, no-one is going to mistake one of us for the other.”

She looked surprised at this and I felt very embarrassed.  Acting cool now after what happened seemed inappropriate but before I could feel any more embarrassed, she giggled.  She smiled at me then hugged me tightly.

“I’m so glad that you’re alright,” she murmured as I stood there awkwardly “I missed you, Mana.”

I reached around and patted her back.

“Yeah…me too.”

* * *

 

I stared at the cup of tea in front of me as Yuki chatted away excitedly.  She was talking about the tutoring she was receiving and other things that I didn’t exactly process.  I just felt out of place in this pretty greenhouse, surrounded by plants and having a view of the garden.  I felt even more out of place as I looked at the pretty looking cakes and other sweet things on the platter in front of me, and with a tea set that probably belonged in an oversized doll house!  Yuki fitted in perfectly, I stuck out like a sore thumb.  I hadn’t changed out of my travel clothes yet and not to mention, I had an eyepatch.  I probably looked like some odd assassin who couldn’t bother to blend in.

“So I think it would be best to have a summer wedding.”

I am starting to really hate that word now.  Wait, what?  I glanced at my sister, comprehending her words for the first time as she leaned on the table with a dreamy sigh.

“Kaname-nii-sama is probably too busy to think about managing our wedding,” she said with a shy smile “So I think it would be better to have the wedding in the summer, so he can sort things out now that you’re safe.”

I looked at her with a rather dumbfounded look.  She tilted her head curiously.

“Something wrong, Mana?”

“Uh, no, I just forgot that you two were engaged…”

Hadn’t he told her?  That the reason this whole shebang happened was because I accepted his proposition to switch places with her?  So she could be with Zero and Zero could be happy, at least that was why I decided to go through with it.  Yuki giggled.

“It’s alright, you must have been thinking of more important things,” Yuki gave me a reassuring smile and she suddenly straightened up “Oh, I almost forgot!  Wait here!”

She bustled away and left me to feel very confused and conflicted.  I should have a word with Kaname.  At that thought, Seiren walked in with a tray to replenish the platter, Yuki had eaten quite a few cakes.

“Kaname-sama wishes to see you tonight,” she murmured.

She left briskly and I clenched my fists. 

“Here we are!”

I looked up and blinked as Yuki ran back in with Marigold.  She plopped the teddy bear on my lap and she grinned.

“Zero said you really liked her when he won her for you.”

I looked up at Yuki sharply.

“When did you see him?” I asked and Yuki sat back down.

“It was a while ago, after Christmas perhaps?”

She shrugged and smiled.

“He wanted you to have her.”

“But where did he go?  Where is he?”

I clutched Marigold tighter as Yuki shook her head.

“I’m not sure but he’ll visit soon,” she said “He should, you two were always close.”

Yeah sure, we’re practically joined at the hip if he refuses to make eye contact and pulls away from me.  Yuki looked at the garden, commenting on the weather whilst I gave her a disdainful look.  It was she Zero loved and I only ever saw him once after I confessed to him.  I hugged Marigold tight to my chest and fought back the tears.

* * *

 

It was quiet in the dimly lit office.  I sat opposite Kaname as he filed through paperwork.  It was awkward again and Kaname didn’t look at me until he finished the pile he was working through, pushing it to the side and placing his hands on the empty space.

“I know some places where you can go shopping,” he said and I felt my eyebrow twitch.

“Kaname, Yuki is under the assumption that she’s the one going to get married,” I said before he could say anything else.

He blinked once as silence stretched between us again.  I tilted my head.

“I mean…you…”

“I suppose it slipped my mind,” he said as he sat back “It all happened rather quickly, I didn’t once consider Yuki.  I’ll correct it as soon as possible.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said as I slumped my shoulders.

“Mana…”

“You can say all you want that Yuki and Zero seemed so close but how long ago was that?”

Kaname was quiet as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

“Yuki truly loves you,” I said “And I don’t want to see her unhappy if it means taking away the one man whom she has loved all her life.”

Kaname leaned forward, looking me in the eye with a serious look.

“Mana, I truly and unconditionally love you.”

My heart stopped as I stared at him in disbelief.

“No you don’t.”

“I do, Mana.  You wanted to stay behind and I wanted to come and get you.  I saw how much it hurt you to see Zero with Yuki.”

He stood up and walked around the desk to kneel at my side.

“Mana, I want to make you happy.  I know it’s a selfish request and you have feelings for Zero, but won’t you give it a chance?”

“You’re practically ushering me to get married to you,” I shifted slightly away from him “You’re talking about dates next month.”

“If you want a later date then just tell me.  If we’re going to get married, we need to be open to each other.”

“Yes but you’re not exactly one to talk.”

I glared at him.

“All those years you hid away the truth and pulled Yuki around by the nose,” I felt my blood boiling “I don’t approve of her marrying you but I accept that she loves you.  I don’t want to pull the carpet out from under her like that!”

“Can’t you accept that Zero loves Yuki?”

I flinched again.

“Stop saying that!”

“You want me to hide the truth again, Mana?”

I got up from the chair to get some distance between me and him.  He didn’t move any closer as I let the tears fall.

“Yuki never rejected Zero,” he kept speaking “She has feelings for him.  She just doesn’t know them yet.”

I want him to shut up.  My heart can’t take any more.

“And you’ve never told Zero of your feelings which is why he never returned them.”

I felt my heart leap.  I did tell Zero of my feelings.  But Kaname didn’t need to know that.

“Mana, it will take time, but let me mend your broken heart.”

He was behind me now and I froze up as he embraced me.

“I can’t bear to see you hurting.”

I hate his manipulation.  I hate him.

“…Can I…can I think about it?”

“Of course.  Think long and hard.”

He kissed the top of my head.

“You’ll find the right answer, I’m sure.”

 

* * *

 

He’s still watching me sleep.  I lay still in the bed, sensing Kaname in the room and listening to his slightly erratic pulse.  Was this how the body reacted to love?  I certainly didn’t watch Zero when he slept.  I feel very uncomfortable but I’m too afraid to let him know that I knew he was here.  The bed dipped after a while and he kissed my forehead.  I felt his hand brush my cheek, just under my eyepatch.

“My Mana…sweet dreams.”

The bed bounced slightly when he got up and left the room, the door shutting quietly.

…

…

…

THAT’S IT!  I’M OUT OF HERE!  I threw the covers off the bed and stormed over to the drawers.  Honestly, I will not be treated like a prized possession!  Stupid bloodsucker…  I began changing into some simple travel clothes and rushed around, tying my hair up and packing my tin of blood pills into my pocket.  I peeked my head out of my bedroom door and checked the corridor before sneaking over to Yuki’s room.  She was sound asleep as I crept over to her vanity and found some money, just enough to get me a train ticket.

“Sorry, sis,” I muttered as I tucked that into my other pocket “Desperate times.”

I’ll pay her back; not like she’ll notice.  I glanced at her briefly, wondering what had happened to drive us apart.  I felt awful, letting something trivial like a guy get in between us.  I then returned to my room, it would be too much of a hassle to sneak out through the front doors, and opened one of my windows.  It was time to see if Purebloods were really as powerful as they said.  I pulled my jacket closer before climbing down the gutter to the ground.  I took a deep breath as I turned to face the world.  I ran.


	2. Chapter 2

“Excuse me, miss?”

I was woken up by someone shaking me awake.  I opened my eye blearily to look up at the train attendant who was hovering over me anxiously.

“Oh, sorry if I disturbed you, miss,” he said as he pulled away quickly, as if he’d been shocked “It’s just that we’re coming up to our next stop and you’ve been asleep for a long time…”

I glanced out of the window and sat up, cracking my neck.

“Is it the town that’s near Cross Academy?” I asked tiredly.

“Y-Yes?”

“Thank you.  You woke me up on time.”

His eyes lit up happily before he bowed his head and scurried out of the room.  I stretched my limbs out, adjusting my eyepatch and got up.  I yawned as the train began slowing down and headed out to get off.

* * *

 

I got quite a few curious stares as I walked down the streets, heading towards Cross Academy.  Was it my hair?  I didn’t exactly bring a brush with me to take care of the knots.  I snorted to myself as I chose the more shadowy side of the street.  The sun was so damn bright, I don’t want to be completely blind.

“Look, mommy!  A pirate!”

I nearly laughed out loud as the woman hurriedly ushered her child out of my path.  I just tucked my hands into my pockets and continued making my way to the school.  The sun was finally setting as I reached school grounds and took in the scene.  Nostalgia hit me, it felt like it had been years since I was last year.  Heck, I’m not sure how old I am, time just came and went when I was with Rido then travelling with Zero and staying with Kaname.  It felt like I was in limbo, unorganised and just floating, not sure where I was going to next.  I smiled to myself and stepped into the grounds, walking down the familiar paths.  I even found the tree I enjoyed climbing up and down since I was very young.

I reached the top and took in a deep breath, letting the breeze blow into me and it woke me up even more.  I saw the main building, remembering the classes we had together.  I remember how comfortable the desks were as I slept through the morning classes because I had stayed up all night patrolling with Yuki and Zero.  I winced as I heard a chorus of screams, rolling my eye when I realised it was crossover time.  I smirked before climbing back down and heading towards the cheering.

“It’s past curfew, get back to your dorms!”

“Get back!”

“Eh, you’re so mean!”

“Ladies!” I raised my voice.

They all turned to me and I smirked, folding my arms.

“Why are you still here when the Night Class are long gone?” I purred, ignoring the stares “Hm, maybe if you stay out here, I can look through your rooms for your picture collections and burn them.”

That had them running.  Apart from Yori and some tall guy who was not in uniform.

“Mana?” she said uncertainly as she approached me.

“Yori,” I nodded with a soft smile “I’m not staying long, just checking in with Headmaster and getting a few personal effects.”

“It’s been so long,” she looked on the verge of tears “You suddenly disappeared…”

“I know,” I sighed as I ducked my head.

“It’s been over a year.”

I winced.

“Ah,” I grimaced “Sorry, a lot of stuff happened.”

“So what’s a princess like you doing here?” the young man approached us and I bristled.

“Just visiting home,” I glared up at him “Is the Chairman in his office?”

“Yes,” Yori nodded and smiled “Welcome back.”

* * *

 

There was paperwork everywhere when I stepped into the office.  I looked down at the mess on the floor and sighed, smiling softly.

“Chairman?”

I could hear light breathing from the pile on the desk and I chuckled, shaking my head.  I made my way over to the desk and brushed the papers off, prodding Kaien’s head.

“Oi.”

He snorted, swatting at my hand.  I huffed.

“Daddy!”

He shot up and stared at me blearily, glasses askew.

“You called me Daddy!”

“No I didn’t,” I chuckled as he yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“Mana?” he murmured as he adjusted his glasses to look up at me “…MANA?!”

I jumped as he got to his feet and pointed at my face.

“Your eye!” he wailed and I placed a hand over my eyepatch “Why is my baby girl wearing an eyepatch?!”

“Ah…”

I shook my head.

“Listen, that can wait for dinner,” I proposed and gave an anxious smile “Uh, I’ll cook!  My treat!  You’ve clearly got quite a lot of work to do.”

“Dinner sounds nice,” he was quick to come around and lead me off.

“Chairman, you have work,” I sighed.

“Nonsense, I can always have time for my baby girls,” he doted on me with that goofy face “Is Yuki here too?”

“No,” I said slowly “That’s kind of what I want to talk to you about.”

He looked at me without the goofiness for once and I hunched my shoulders.

“How does stir-fry sound for you?”

* * *

 

It was quiet in the kitchen as I picked at the roasted vegetable on my plate.  Kaien was looking at me with concern and I sat still for a while until I found the right words.

“Before Rido took control of me and I was whisked off to wherever,” I started and he straightened up “Kaname asked for my hand in marriage with the intention to break the engagement off with Yuki.”

He raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly to urge me to continue.

“After the whole fiasco with being with Rido then being taken to a safe house and…”

I gestured to my eyepatch and Kaien frowned.

“How did that happen?” he asked.

“Um, I’ll tell you later but the point is when I went back to where Yuki was staying, she was under the assumption that she was still engaged to Kaname.  When I mentioned it, he said that it had slipped his mind to mention to Yuki that their engagement was off and that was when I said that I didn’t want to marry him…”

I grimaced at the memory.

“He ushered for us to get married even more, talking about setting a date for next month!” I shook my head, hunching over the table “I couldn’t bear being around him so I left rather abruptly.”

I looked Kaien in the eye.

“So I guess I’m here seeking asylum,” I murmured “I understand if you say no but I’ll be staying for a couple of days before finding somewhere else.”

“Mana,” he leaned over to pet my hand “You’re always welcome here.”

I felt tears welling up in my eye.  He squeezed my hand tightly.

“This is your home and I understand if you want to take some time to adjust to…”

He gestured to my eye and I sighed with a smile.

“I guess I should tell you,” I mumbled as I pushed myself away “This was the only way to get rid of Rido in my head.”

“Why’s that?” Kaien frowned.

Oh boy.

“So I had a run in with Rido that night,” I said slowly “The reason I was covered in blood was because he ripped my eye out.”

Kaien’s eyes widened and I winced.

“Then he put his own eye into me and was controlling me through it I suppose?  I dunno how it worked but the moment I plucked it out, I couldn’t hear him anymore.”

“My poor baby Mana!”

I grunted as Kaien went flying across the table to hug me tightly.

“That fiend!  He’s lucky he’s dead now else I’d make sure he’ll regret ever being born!”

“Zero killed him, didn’t he?” I prompted as I struggled to push him off “Uh, is he around?”

Kaien pulled away and shook his head.

“He’s staying at the Vampire Hunter’s Association, apparently there’s a lot of work to do.”

My heart dropped and I ducked my head.

“Oh.”

“All your stuff is here and your art room is still your art room,” he continued speaking.

“Thanks, I’m not sure what to do with my life at the moment to be honest,” I muttered.

“Well take a break, you must have gone through a lot,” Kaien reassured me whilst patting my back.

“I told Yori that I’d only be staying for a couple of days so I’d rather be incognito so if Kaname or Yuki or anyone else looking for me comes along…”

“You are not here,” he winked at me.

I hugged him tightly.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

I laid out the bed roll out in my art room and sat down on it, stretching my limbs out.  I looked around, staring at the paint stains on the walls, smiling wistfully at my easel and grimacing at my stash of paintings that I had hidden in the corner.  No-one had ever seen them, especially since they’re not really that good.  I only painted as a hobby.  It was what got rid of my stress and I had a lot of stress to get rid of.  As I lay down on the bed roll, pulling the blanket over me, I found that I couldn’t sleep.  My body ached from travelling and my hair was sopping wet from the long hot bath I took earlier.  Screw it, I had so many ideas on what to paint, sleep can wait.  I sprung up from the bed roll and began looking for a blank canvas.

* * *

 

Kaname was here.  I had glimpsed him from my art room window and had immediately ducked out of view, not wanting to risk another look.  I was certain it was him, I could sense him.  I ran downstairs hastily, double checking I had locked and bolted the door.  No-one ever came here under my rule else they’d suffer my wrath.  I didn’t want anyone to see my scrappy paintings.  I backed off and began putting away the paints, paintbrushes and bedroll.  I hesitated on my work in progress, it was still wet.  I dismissed it and squeezed into the cupboards to hide.  I covered my head and waited. 

I ended up falling asleep in this position and when I woke up it was night time.  I was too afraid to come out.  But I knew I couldn’t stay in here forever.  I flinched as my body began to feel cramped.  I should definitely get out to stretch my body out.  So I gently nudged the doors open and peered out.  There was no-one and I crept out slowly.

“Mana.”

I froze on the spot as I spied Kaname in the corner, looking disappointed and hurt.  I couldn’t move as he stood up from leaning against the wall.

“Why did you leave me?” he whispered as he began coming towards me “Why are you hiding from me?  I love you.”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak as he stood in front of me and gripped my shoulders tightly.

“And you love me back.  You just don’t know it yet.”

I couldn’t open my mouth to protest against him.  I couldn’t push him away, I felt paralysed.

“Come home, Mana.  The wedding preparations have been taken care of.  All you need to do is put your dress on.”

“No,” I finally said and his eyes lit up red.

“No?”

The room grew darker and I felt scared, more scared than I ever had been before.

“If I can’t convince you, then maybe Zero’s death will.”

My mind went blank.

“NO!”

My fingers moved and blood whips pierced the vampire in front of me.

“Ma…na…”

I froze as I saw a bruised and bloody Zero in front of me, weak and dying.  He stared at me with that venomous glare he normally gave to Kaname or any other vampire.

“Zero…”

“You’re just like them,” he spat “Destroying lives one after the other with no remorse.”

“No…”

“You’re selfish and disgusting.”

“Zero, I…”

My heart broke as he turned to dust and in front of me next was Yuki.

“You abandoned us,” she muttered sullenly “We’re supposed to be sisters.  Yet you always push me away.”

“Yuki…”

“And for what?  For petty jealousy?  You can’t have everything you want, Mana.”

“I don’t…no, I just want to live a normal life.”

“You always ask for the impossible, that’s why you’re never happy.”

“I don’t!”

“You attacked me!  Your own sister!”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Just go away and never come back!”

“Yuki!”

A hand covered my eye and someone was breathing down my neck.

“Guess who?”

I screamed as Rido laughed and held me close to his body.

“I found you, my little Mana!” he sung loudly “Come with me, Mana, I’ll give you a new eye!  Then you’ll be perfect!”

“I don’t want to be perfect!  Let me go!”

His laughs echoed in the room as he spun me around.  Once he stopped, he pushed my head to the side so he could get at my neck.

“No, no, no!”

“Mana!”

* * *

 

I woke up violently on my bed roll and knocked Kaien’s chin with my head.  He stumbled back, spilling the tea and biscuits on the tray and I stared at him with wide eyes.

“You can’t be in here!” I practically shrieked.

“You weren’t answering the door,” my adopted father said as he lay on the floor twitching.

“Still, you can’t be in here!”

“Mana, you were shouting in your sleep, I was worried.”

He adjusted his glasses whilst rubbing his chin tenderly.

“And I’ve never seen your paintings before.  The one you’ve just finished is beautiful.”

I jumped to hide the painting on the easel and blush.

“No, it’s scrappy and messy!” I shouted “Get out!”

“Mana…”

I felt so embarrassed.  This painting was just a typical scenery painting, with a field, a little stream with a bridge over it and some woods.  The sun was setting in the background but the colours weren’t right at all.  I had used too much pink.

“Mana, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s not.  It’s pathetic.”

“I think it’s beautiful.”

I glared at him.

“What did you want me for?” I asked.

“I had made tea.”

I glanced at the mess which Kaien was trying to clean up.

“…”

“Um, give me a moment.”

He dashed downstairs and I stared at my painting.  It’s probably dry enough.  I picked it up and put it away with the other paintings.  I eyed the growing pile in the cupboard and realise that I was running out of room.

“Mana?”

I turned to Kaien as he approached me with a flyer.  It was for some painting contest.  I shook my head furiously and he shot me a reprimanding look.

“Mana, give it a go.”

“No way, not going to happen.”

“Mana…”

“It won’t even be glanced at.”

“Mana, you don’t have to be as good as Da Vinci or Picasso.  Just give it a go, you’ll see what you’re capable of and if not, you’ll probably get some criticism which will help you improve if that is what you want.”

“It’s just a hobby!”

I shook my head.

“No, I just did this to get rid of some stress and to think of what I could do with my life.”

“Well you could see where the art world could get you.”

“That business is brutal, it’s hard enough to get noticed.”

“Well why don’t you start now?”

He tilted his head.

“It won’t do you any harm.”

I took the flyer and sighed.

“If it’ll shut you up.”

* * *

 

I took my eyepatch off and put the sunglasses on.  It would attract too much attention if I turned up at the viewing with an eyepatch, especially since I was supposed to be incognito.  I brushed my hair back and platted it.  I missed Zero putting my hair into a bun.  It made me feel more focused.  I took one of my blood pills and stared at myself in the mirror as I swallowed it.  I felt like that the girl looking back at me was a complete stranger.  I didn’t like it, I never enjoyed change.  I shook my head; I was going to be late.  I stood up rather hastily smoothing down my clothes.  The dress code was causal but smart, I think I got the right clothes.  After checking myself again in the mirror, I hide away the eyepatch in my cupboard and wandered to Kaien’s office.

“I’m off, I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Good luck!  I know you’ll win, my baby Mana!”

“Not a baby.  See ya.”

* * *

 

There are too many people here.  I made sure to keep a distance from people, making sure my sunglasses wouldn’t slip down to show the empty eye socket.  There were so many paintings and I found myself admiring them.  I probably looked very suspicious, like I was from some mafia.  All I needed was a fedora and some gloves.  I was approached when I was admiring something that resembled a bowl of fruit.

“Hi there,” the older man greeted me and I glanced up at him “Mr Miyagi at your service.”

I just nodded to him and he smiled down at me.

“Are you perchance Miss Sakurai?”

The fake name I put forward, Sachiko Sakurai.  I nodded slowly and he beamed happily.

“Excellent, I’ve been looking for you for a while,” he chuckled “I’ve been admiring the painting you submitted.”

He pulled a business card and handed it to me.

“We should get together for a chat,” he said as I looked down at it “You’re quite something.”

He walked off and I tucked the card into my jacket pocket.  I turned back to admire the abstract looking bowl of fruit.

“Miss Sakurai?”

I turned to a younger looking girl, she was probably a student, who came up to me with shy eyes directed to the floor.

“I was wondering, what inspired you to paint that scene?”

I took a moment to think of an answer.

“I probably dreamt of it,” I replied honestly “It’s nothing much, my father encouraged me to submit it to this contest.”

“I think it’s beautiful!” the girl said with flushed cheeks “I submitted a painting too.  Would you like to see it?”

I shrugged and followed her to someone’s portrait.  …More specifically Senri’s portrait and I had to hold back a choke.

“Do you by any chance go to Cross Academy?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

I held back my smirk and snigger.

“Well, the technique is wonderful,” I began speaking whilst looking up at the portrait “The subject however…”

“I know, I never really got to keep a picture of him,” the girl looked annoyed “The prefects always confiscate our photo albums of the Night Class, it’s not fair.”

I nearly grinned.

“Well, I think you have the potential, might want to work on the eyes.”

“Do you think?”

“Yes and perhaps try asking for models instead?  That way you know what you’re painting better.”

I remembered all the sketches I had of Zero somewhere in my room and blushed lightly.  If anyone ever found those, I’d be dubbed a stalker for sure.  It’s just that Zero fell asleep so easily and often and they were only rough sketches.  I found myself glancing around the gallery, frowning lightly.

“There don’t seem to be a lot of people around,” I murmured.

“Oh, didn’t you know?”

I jumped out of my skin and nearly screamed.  I whirled around to see a wealthy looking young man standing on my right, looking startled at my violent reaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he apologized quickly whilst I found myself trying to calm my heart down, placing a hand over it.

“I…I guess I was in my own world there,” I chuckled softly.

I was still getting used to the idea with only having one eye.  I regained my composure, adjusting my glasses better and hoping that no-one had seen the missing eye.

“I’m an art collector,” the young man smiled “and I am interested in purchasing your work.”

Come again?  I looked at him incredulously.

“I beg your pardon?” I managed to say.

“Is it not for sale?”

“Oh, no, no, I mean,” I floundered slightly “I wasn’t expecting anyone to want to have it.”

“Modest, I like that in a woman,” he grinned.

I shuddered.

“I don’t have a price.”

“Well, let’s start low, you are an amateur for now, aren’t you?  Let’s say fifty thousand yen?”

Is this guy serious?  I must have looked unsure because he pressed on.

“I can go higher.”

“Can I consider your offer?” I quickly asked before he could throw any more prices at me.

He graced me with that creepy smile and nodded.

“I’ll be seeing you when you’re announced as the winner.”

And he left.  I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Is something wrong?” the student girl asked.

“I just hate people who go around to flaunt the fact that they have a lot of money,” I shrugged whilst adjusting my glasses.

“Um…”

She looked really nervous again.

“Can we go and see your painting?  It is very beautiful.”

“Sure?” I glanced at her “Is something wrong?”

“Well, I don’t really like crowds…”

Crowds?  I let her lead me to the next corridor which had a cluster of people around one of the paintings.  That artist must be popular.

“They should move onto other works soon, I hope,” the student muttered softly.

“Hm?”

She pointed to the crowd.

“That’s where your painting is being displayed.”

…She’s pulling my leg, right?  I stared at the crowd and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

“If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to take a closer look.”

The girl nodded and I began moving to the crowd.  Surely this was a mistake, maybe there was someone else named Sachiko Sakurai?  Maybe the labels got mixed up.  I carefully pushed my way to the front of the crowd and looked up.  The first thing I saw was the pink sky and I felt annoyed about how the shades didn’t seem to fit in the overall scene.  Then I looked across the field, the stream and the woods.  This was indeed my work.

“I just want to run across that field.”

“Wouldn’t it be lovely to have that hanging in the lobby?”

“The sky just looks stunning.”

The people around me were talking about my work.  They liked my work.  This scrappy piece of art, they liked it?

“It has my vote,” the person on my left side muttered as he scribbled something down onto a clipboard then shuffled out of the crowd.

It took a while for the crowd to disperse but I just continued to stand there, looking up at the scenery and at the sun that was halfway down the horizon.  The student approached me, from my right because I could hear her footsteps but I couldn’t see her.

“You look surprised,” she said.

“I never expected such praise,” I murmured.

I heard her giggle.

“Don’t we all?”

I left that evening with two cheques tucked into my purse.

* * *

 

“My baby Mana won!”

I grunted as my adopted father flung his arms around me whilst I scrambled eggs.

“Careful,” I muttered.

“It’s a lot of money you got,” he began pestering me more “What are you going to do with it?”

I hesitated and turned to him.

“If it isn’t too much to worry about, I’d like save up to rent somewhere in town to stay.”

He hesitated and I choked as he squeezed me tighter.

“No!” he wailed “My baby Mana is leaving me!”

“I won’t be too far away and I’ll visit!” I coughed as I struggled with the arm around my neck “Eggs!  I’m cooking eggs!  Get off!”

After the eggs were narrowly saved, I ended up staring at the business card that Miyagi guy gave to me.  I ended up arranging to meet up with him.

 

* * *

 

A few months later I was in my studio, eating my dinner when Mr Dubois, a regular that bought my works, called and proposed for me to visit France and sell some works there.  It sounded like a huge deal and Mr Miyagi thoroughly encouraged for me to at least go for a few weeks.  France, I wasn’t exactly a linguist and it sounded daunting to travel over there.  I told them I would consider and went to my window to paint there.  I always enjoyed being by the window, just looking out into the world and watching the people go up and down the street.  I pulled my hair up into a sloppy bun and began painting.

It took a couple of days to move my things into this tiny little studio.  It wasn’t much but it was home and the rent was decent.  Well, if I kept up with selling my paintings.  The cost to go to France seemed steep, considering how I manage my finances, but Mr Dubois assured me that he would pay for the flight himself.  Still, going to France, going to Paris!  Where the Louvre is!  Oh, I would love to go there!  Just seeing all those paintings and the chance to see the Mona Lisa!  I let my brush drop a little, staring at the blue sky that was on the canvas.  I should go.  It would be wonderful to go, I don’t even know what I’m afraid of.  I might need to learn some basic French, that’s all.

“Mana?”

I jumped out of my skin, my blind eye was towards the door, and I turned my head sharply to see…  My heart stopped.

“Zero?”

He…looked like he matured so much.  He stood at the doorway, looking at me with slightly wide eyes.  I guess he hadn’t gotten the memo of the fact that I only had one eye now.  I swallowed shakily.

“How did you get in?”

“Chairman gave me his spare key.”

“Why are you here?”

He hesitated, leaning on the doorframe and just looking at me.  I felt tears welling up in my eye.

“Zero, where have you been?” I whimpered.

The feelings were bubbling up in me again and I tried my best to suppress them.

“You weren’t at Cross Academy anymore; you didn’t even come to see me after Rido died…”

“I…I needed to think.”

“About what?” I spat.

He leaned his head on the doorframe.

“You.”

I stared at him in disbelief as he pushed himself off from the doorframe and began crossing the room.

“No you haven’t,” I muttered.

“I have.”

“Why?”

“You confessed to me,” he said “Before I prepared to shoot you, you told me that you loved me, didn’t you?”

My heart dropped and I bowed my head.

“You came here to reject me?”

“Quite the opposite.”

I looked up at him sharply and he offered me a small smile.

“But Yuki…”

“Puppy love,” he shrugged “I guess…Yuki mentioned how much time we spent together when I was around her.  And I began thinking about you.  Surely not, you didn’t show any interest in me…”

“I showed plenty of interest, I don’t think I could have been more obvious,” I snarled and turned my blind eye on him.

“Yeah,” he snorted.

Silence fell between us and I placed my paint and brush down.  I glanced at him and pawed at his hand and he grabbed hold of my hand to squeeze it.

“What happened with your eye?”

“I ripped it out so Rido would shut up,” I muttered.

“Sure, makes sense.”

I giggled and sniffed back the tears.  I then began bawling my eye out and Zero tensed up.

“Hey, what’s wrong?!” he exclaimed.

“All this time, I thought you hated me,” I cried as I rubbed the tears away “I was about to accept the fact that you’ll always love Yuki and I nearly married Kaname damn it!  This is all your fault!”

“Huh?!”

“Stupid Zero!”

“Tch.”

He brought me into a hug and glanced at the half done painting.

“You’re really making a living out of painting,” he muttered.

“Did Kaien exaggerate?”

“Most likely.”

I leaned on his shoulder.

“Actually, I need some help on a decision.”

Zero stared down at me as I took a deep breath.

“I might be visiting France soon for a few weeks but I’m not sure if I should go or not.”

“France?” Zero raised an eyebrow “Why?”

“Well, I’d probably be selling some works there, apparently there are some clients that are interested.”

“You should go.”

I looked up at him.

“Will you come with me?”

Zero stared at me and sighed.

“How can I say no?”

I pounced and hugged him tightly, making him stagger back and hug his arms around my hips to support me.

“I’d be too scared to go on my own,” I confessed shyly, plucking at his shirt.

“You’ve fought vampires and pulled your own eye out but you’re scared of a measly little trip?”

“Zero!”

I slapped his shoulders and he smirked.  He lowered me down to my feet and cupped my face.

“I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too,” I said back without much thought “I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

Zero leaned down and kissed me.  It was…awkward.  Like very, very awkward because frankly, we didn’t know how to kiss.  But it was alright.  Because it was Zero.  I was happy to see him after so long.  I hugged him tighter as he separated because our kissing techniques were bad.  I leaned my head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.  He began to pull my hair out of my bun and proceeded to make a proper bun.  I smiled wider, feeling those caring hands handle my hair.  This was heaven.  Nothing could have ruined that perfect moment.


	3. Chapter 3

I walked down the streets of Paris, making my way to my favourite café.  It was midday and very warm, I felt glad that I had decided to not wear black.  The sun wasn’t showing any mercy and I began thinking about my life choices.  Zero and I had taken a liking to Paris after staying a few weeks and we decided to extend our stay, much to my customers’ delight.  We live in a small apartment near the Eiffel Tower and sure, it’s got a questionable aura, what with the arguing Italians above us and the baby screaming below us and don’t get me started on the British couple next door.  But it was cosy and if need be we could move out of Paris and to somewhere else where I could sell my works.  Zero needed to be somewhere where it was easy to contact him, still being in the vampire hunter business.

I adjusted my sunglasses before entering the café.  I decided to either keep the eyepatch or sunglasses in public to hide my empty socket.  I didn’t want to get a glass eye or something to replace my missing eye.  I wanted it gone to serve a reminder of what I had to get through to be here.  I have never felt more appreciative in my life.

“Ah, Mademoiselle Sakurai!” the barrister called and I smiled politely “Café glacé avec des macarons?”

“Non merci, juste le café glacé s’il vous plaît.”

“Pas des macarons?!”

I laughed at his bewildered look.

“Mon petit ami et moi sortir pour déjeuner.”

“Mon petit ami et moi _allons_ sortir pour _le_ déjeuner!” he corrected me whilst annunciating each syllable with a clap.

I shrugged helplessly and he chuckled.

“Trés bien, mademoiselle,” he shook his head whilst went about preparing my order.

“Excusez-moi, monsieur.”

A hand landed on my left shoulder and I stiffened.  Someone was standing on my right and I had a feeling I knew who.

“Pourrais-je avoir un thé à la menthe s’il vous plait?”

“D’accord?” the barrister looked up at the gentleman beside me “Monsieur…?”

“Kuran.”

Damn.

* * *

 

_So, Mana, how did you end up in the most awkward moment in your life?_

Well, it’s crazy but it all starts when my twin sister and I find ourselves in the snow and we get attacked by a vampire.

_Oh my!_

Yes, indeed but we are saved.  And said saviour takes us to this lovely man who adopts and raises us.

_Right, right…_

So we grow up and lovely father adopts another victim of vampires who becomes our brother.  He is wonderful, I love him to bits.

_Aw, that’s so sweet._

But as we grow up, the first wave of awkwardness happens.

_Oh?_

Yes, said brother is in love with my twin sister.  But, my twin sister is in love with our saviour.  I’m in love with the brother, who is a vampire hunter that has been turned into a vampire, whilst Mr Saviour apparently is in love with me.

_You normally hear of these love triangles but a love square?_

I know right?  Understanding this storm of drama, I decide to just stay in the background.  Until Mr Saviour’s uncle comes to town and declares that he wants to kill my twin sister and I.

_Oh dear!_

I know, so being the protective sister, I go in to fight the uncle whilst Mr Saviour turns my twin sister into a vampire.  Turns out, Mr Saviour is our older brother.

_This is such a mess._

I know, I know.  But we do get rid of him in the end and my twin sister with Mr Saviour go off into the sunset, happily engaged, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces that is my vampire hunter crush.

_Aw, how lovely._

Yes, it would have been hadn’t Mr Saviour and my twin sister return and my love interest has fallen back in love with her, it seems.

_Oh no._

And Mr Saviour proposes to me, asking me to swap places with my sister.  After thinking about it, I decide to go through with it.

_No._

So I get turned back into a vampire but here’s the juicy part.  I hadn’t know exactly what transpired between the fight of me and my uncle.  Turns out, he ripped my eye out to put his own in and control me from it.

_Oh, it’s always the uncle._

I know so when I drink Mr Saviour’s blood, he wakes up inside me and controls me.  I resurrect him and end up in his custody for God knows how long.

_As you do._

So Mr Saviour and my crush come in to rescue me.  I travel with my crush for a while but my uncle is in my head trying to get me to turn back.  I break down and beg for my crush to kill me.

_And?_

Well, there’s a reason why I gave Mr Saviour his name.

_Ahhh…_

Yep, before my crush can kill me, he comes in to save the day and whisks me off to this awful place, I hated being there.

_And this uncle?_

Oh, well I end up plucking his eye out of me so I won’t have to listen to his incessant demands.  And my crush kills him.

_Oh wonderful!_

Indeed, so Mr Saviour and I are going back to his mansion, he is talking about wedding plans for the next month.

_He sounds rather pushy._

You have no idea.  We arrive and my twin sister and I have this reunion.

_Oh brilliant!_

It was, it was indeed.  Until my twin sister talks about her own wedding plans.  Mr Saviour hasn’t told her that we got engaged.

_No!_

Yep.  After discussing this issue with Mr Saviour, he pledges his love to me and, get this, watches me sleep.

_Oh how creepy!_

Indeed, so I leave and go back to the lovely man who adopted me.  I go incognito and end up submitting one of my paintings into a contest.  I win and begin making money.

_Sounds like a turn for the better._

That’s not even the best part.  A few months later, my crush turns up.

_Ooo~!_

And returns my feelings!

_Oh excellent!  Congratulations, I feel so happy for you!_

Thank you, thank you, but we haven’t addressed your question.

_And?_

So my crush and I go off to Paris and we start a life there together.  A few months go by and I’m going down to my favourite café…

_Yes?_

And guess who’s there to greet me.

_No…_

That’s right!  Mr Saviour who I had run away from around six months ago to avoid marrying him!

_No…_

Yep.  And we’re just sitting here at the café table, waiting for our drinks.  He has not said a word, he’s just been sitting there, staring.

_Oh no._

And that is how I ended up in the most awkward moment of my life.

* * *

 

The fact that I had this conversation in my head whilst waiting for my iced coffee is supporting my theory that insanity might be genetic considering my late uncle.  I turned my right side to Kaname, not really wanting to look, and watched the cars going up and down the road.  He still stayed there, sitting and staring.  I held my ground, I wasn’t going to crack.

“Café glacé et thé à la menthe?”

“Merci beaucoup.”

I nodded silently as the waitress placed our orders between us.  She left and I turned to my drink, pulling it closer to me and using the spoon to stir it.

“France is beautiful, isn’t it?”

I didn’t even glance up at him.

“It’s nice, the language is tricky.”

“You’ve been having lessons with that gentleman there?”

I nodded slightly, picking my drink to sip it.  I eyed his hand warily as it crossed the table to meet mine.

“I was very worried.”

I looked up at him that time, seeing his emotionless mask of a face.

“I had my reasons.”

“I know, I was putting too much pressure on you.”

He squeezed my hand.

“Please come home.”

I placed my drink down and sat up a little bit more, looking at him with pursed lips.

“My home is here,” I said “The plan was to stay here for a few weeks but business was good here.”

“I noticed.  I have one of your works.  You are quite the rising star.”

I felt a pang of curiosity that I couldn’t suppress.

“Which one?”

“I believe it’s called _Into the Sunset_.”

That’s the painting I had submitted into the contest.  The one that started everything.  I swallowed softly, hoping he wouldn’t notice my nervous posture.

“How long have you known that I was Sachiko Sakurai?”

“A few weeks.”

I watched as he stirred his tea, a small smile on his face.

“It’s a very prosaic name.”

He placed his teaspoon down and picked the teacup up to sip his tea.  It was silent again for a few more moments.

“Who is this boyfriend?”

His voice dipped a little lower and I felt the back of my neck prickle.  I swallowed uneasily and glanced up at him.

“Zero.”

I could tell he was furious.  His eyes gave everything away.  I sat up straighter and gave him a cool look.

“We are happy here.”

“Are you sure?  Are you supported financially?”

“Yes.”

“Does he love you?”

“Yes.”

He narrowed his eyes and I began hoping he wasn’t planning to murder Zero.

“He doesn’t have any lingering attachments to Yuki?”

“Do you think I would still be with him if he did?”

Kaname straightened up and I did the same, lifting my chin challengingly.

“Were you hoping for me to come running back to you?”

“I told Yuki about our engagement.”

My stomach dropped and I hoped that he didn’t notice my change of mood.

“Understandably she is upset.”

“I don’t want to marry you.”

“Mana.”

“The marriage will be doomed from the start; I never once took interest in you.  I doubt I would be any good to you and I don’t know anything about the vampire world.  And I’d rather it would stay that way.  I don’t get involved with Zero’s work and I can earn a lot with my work if business stays as good as it is now.  Moreover, I’m happy here.  If you loved me as much as you claim, surely you’d be happy enough knowing that I am happy.”

Kaname sat there silently as I checked my watch quickly.  I had fifteen minutes.  I began drinking the rest of my iced coffee.

“So if I was not on the throne, would you be my wife?”

“Not a chance.”

I grabbed my purse, leafing through the euros.

“If Zero wasn’t around?”

“Don’t even go there.”

I placed down the payment, plus tip, on the table and stood to walk out of the café.  Kaname grabbed my arm tightly before I could go out of the door.

“Then when would you marry me?”

He was not going to let it go.  I turned to him, my eye peeking over my sunglasses.

“Honestly?  I would never marry you no matter what the condition.”

“Mana…”

I sighed shortly.

“I’m not going to keep you on the hook, I will never marry you.”

“Mana.”

I hissed as his grip on my arm tightened.

“What if you had no choice?”

“At the moment, I see I have plenty of choice.”

“For now, yes.  But Zero isn’t going to be around forever.”

“Neither are you!”

“You understand that Purebloods are immortal.”

My heart dropped.  I knew they had a long lifespan but _damn_.

“Zero will leave you for the next life and you’ll be left in a financial crisis most likely.”

I felt his fingers tighten around my bicep.

“…”

God damn it!

“If there truly is no other choice, if there is no other way and if it benefits me and my family,” I sighed.

His grip slackened as I wrenched my arm away and stormed out of the café, marching off down the streets.

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?”

I perked up as Zero snapped me out of my daze.  My fork slipped out of my fingers and I began stuttering.

“Is something wrong with the mussels?”

I looked down at the bowl of mussels and shook my head.

“No…”

“You sure, you’ve been using your fork instead of the shells to scoop them out.”

“Ah, sorry…”

“Don’t be, but there is something on your mind isn’t there?”

I huffed as I held my hands up.

“Please don’t overreact,” I said calmly as I glanced at him “but I had a bit of a run in at the café.”

“It’s that barrister, isn’t it?” Zero growled jealously and I snorted.

“No, don’t worry.  He’s married with child number three on the way.”

“Doesn’t make him safe.”

“Zero, I can take care of myself…”

“Clearly.”

I gave him an annoyed glare.

“It was Kaname.”

Zero gave me a blank look until he gritted his teeth.  I reached over the table to squeeze his hand tightly as I noticed his fangs had elongated slightly.

“What is he doing here?” he asked lowly.

“He just took me to the side to try and talk me into going back to Japan to marry him.”

Zero squeezed my hand back.

“And?”

“And what?  I rejected him.”

Zero seemed uncertain and I kicked him in the shin.

“Oi, I’ve been in love with you for at least five years, I’m not going to leave you any time soon.”

Zero picked at his sea bass as I picked up one of the empty mussel shells to resume eating the mussels. 

* * *

 

It was around a year later when I found something interesting in our post-box.  I hadn’t open the envelope until I had come back into the apartment where Zero was making lunch.

“I’m home,” I called as I came in.

“Welcome back!” he called over the noise of the cooking as I settled myself on the sofa in the small living room.

“Smells good, roast chicken?”

“Of course.”

I grinned, a Sunday tradition we had, before leafing through the junk mail.  It was the cursive handwriting that attracted me to this letter and I opened it.

“Oh.”

“What is it?”

I jumped, Zero had crept up onto my right side rather silently.  I sighed as he chuckled and slapped his arm.

“It’s…It’s a wedding invitation.”

Zero fell silent immediately as we both read through the invitation.  Yuki and Kaname had announced their engagement and a date had been set.  Zero was quiet as I lowered the invitation.

“We haven’t been back to Japan for a while,” I muttered “Should we go?”

“…”

I glanced up at him and his blank expression.

“We’ll consider,” I said as I leaned over to kiss his cheek “I’m starving.”

I placed the invitation down and skipped over to the kitchen, dragging Zero with me.  We settled down at the small table and I began eating the chicken hungrily.  Zero made the best roast chicken, I could only live off it if possible.

“Mana, perhaps we should consider moving to a larger place.”

“You think?”

“And perhaps somewhere further out from the city, where there aren’t so many busybody tourists.”

I paused to think.  I had no objections to our current living conditions.

“Whereabouts exactly?” I asked.

“Anywhere but here.”

We heard the door slam upstairs and listened to the couple argue loudly above us.

“I’ve learnt enough Italian to know where that conversation is going to go,” Zero huffed and I smiled.

“Well how about somewhere else other than Paris?” I suggested “Like in the south by the coast?”

“That’s quite far away,” Zero frowned.

“We could always browse through places where we could rent,” I shrugged.

“What about Calais?”

“Nah, you wanted to stay away from tourists didn’t you?”

“Like there aren’t any in the south?”

“In Calais they’re travelling and they’re grumpy.”

Zero smirked as he reached over to carve some more roast chicken off.

“Would we have enough to move down south?”

“I’ve been saving up a lot and I could earn a bit more there considering that nearly every rich bigwig in Paris has one of my paintings.”

“Then how about Marseilles?”

“I think Nice would be better.”

“Tch.  Fine, you’ll do the browsing then.”

“But I don’t think we should move before going to Yuki’s wedding.”

Zero hesitated as I leaned over to pluck the wishbone out of the chicken.

“We’re going?”

I looked up at him and found myself frowning at him.

“I’d rather not but I would like to see Yuki.”

Zero sighed softly as he propped his elbow on the table and leaned against his fist.

“When is the date?”

“Oh, I think they’ve decided on a summer wedding so in about nine months.  I’ll double check the date.”

Zero still didn’t seem happy and I rolled my eye.

“She’s my sister, Zero.”

“I don’t like the idea of you being around him.”

“Please don’t start this again, Zero.  We’ll only be there for a week or two.”

Zero pursed his lips as I held the wishbone over to him.  I batted my eye as he took the other side and we broke it.  I tilted my head as he had the larger piece.

“What did you wish for?” I asked curiously as he placed the bone down.

“It won’t come true if I told you,” he said as he stood up “You’re on clean up duty.”

“I know,” I pouted as he grabbed the tin foil to cover the chicken leftovers.

* * *

 

Later that evening we were taking a walk by the River Seine and happened across a man selling padlocks.  To my surprise, Zero bought one.  I don’t know what my face was showing as we crossed one of the bridges and Zero wrote our names on the lock.  I must have been blushing because he was smirking down at me.

“Shall we?”

I pouted but let him pull me to one side of the bridge to fasten the lock onto one of the grilles.  It was more challenging to find a place to put it but there it was.  Mana and Zero written in Latin letters on one side and Kanji on the other.  I was turned around and Zero got down on his knees.  My heart stopped.

“Mana, it doesn’t have to be right away but I would like to ask.”

He pulled out a small box and opened it.

“Will you marry me?”

I probably screamed ‘YES’ loud enough for it to reach Japan because Zero was smirking so widely afterwards.  My cheeks were burning as onlookers applauded and he slid the ring onto my finger.  I buried my face in his chest as we stood there embraced, kind of feeling awkward.

“Small ceremony.”

“Agreed.”

“I would like to have the wedding in Japan.”

Zero hesitated and I pulled away to look up at him.

“Something about having the wedding under the trees when they’re blossoming is appealing to me.”

“…”

I tilted my head before realising.

“Oh, never mind,” I ducked my head.

Blossom was probably the last thing Zero wanted to think about.  I dropped my head back onto his chest as he stroked my hair.

“I still would like an outdoor wedding.”

“Of course.”

We stayed silent for the rest of the evening, going back home once the sun had completely set.

* * *

 

“Mana!  Zero!”

Zero, the bastard, pulled me in front of him so Yuki and Kaien hugged me tightly first.

“Can’t breathe…”

“It’s been too long, you need to visit more often,” Kaien looked really upset.

“We were so worried when you disappeared, why didn’t you leave a note?!”

“Sorry,” I wheezed as I reached into my pocket “Yuki, here.”

Yuki pulled away before Kaien to take the envelope from me.  She opened it and blinked.

“Money?”

“I needed it for the train fare to get back home,” I breathed in as Kaien finally released me “Sorry.”

Yuki smiled, tilting her head at me.

“As long as you’re safe.”

She squeezed my hand as Kaien began his futile attempt to hug Zero.

“Could we talk?”

I could tell what she wanted to talk about.  I followed her upstairs to her room as Kaien began chatting away excitedly to Zero.  I stared at the dress on the mannequin in alarm.

“That’s a long train.”

“Goes with the veil nicely, don’t you think?”

I glanced at the tiara with the long veil.

“Blimey.”

“Mana…”

I turned to Yuki as she sat on the bed and I sat next to her.  Her smile dropped a little.

“Why did you turn Kaname-nii-sama down?”

I huffed, closing my eye.

“Yuki, I never loved him and I never will.”

“Then why did you say yes to us swapping places that time?”

“Because I thought you and Zero were becoming an item,” I leaned back in thought “Kaname was so accepting of that fact that he decided that it would be OK for me to marry him instead.”

“You could have said no.”

“And potentially see you and Zero be lovey dovey everywhere?  I know it wasn’t the smartest of decisions but Zero did only have eyes for you back then.”

Yuki fell silent as she glanced down.

“You would have been the luckiest girl in the world.”

“I am now.”

I raised my left hand and Yuki stared at the engagement ring.

“Zero proposed, we’re going to plan our wedding after moving out of Paris.”

“Mana that’s so wonderful!” Yuki shrieked as we joined hands and began bouncing on the bed “Oh my gosh, when did this happen?!”

“Oh, last year, I wanted to tell you face to face instead of through letters.”

“Mana, I’m so happy for you!”

And the conversation dissolved into happy shrieks and chattering.

* * *

 

I was on my way to the room Zero and I were staying in when I found it.  That painting that I had submitted which started my painting career.  I couldn’t stop staring at it.  I could remember all the comments the others in the gallery said as I stood there, looking shifty as hell, looking up at the scrappy piece of work.  It still looks crappy, the sky was way too pink for it to be anything good.  But I still lost myself, wishing I could run across that field and into the sunset.

“Mana.”

Damn!  I hesitated as Kaname had entered the corridor from my left and took it as a cue to get out of there.

“Mana, wait.”

And I waited.  I listened as his footsteps approached me and he stopped behind me.

“It’s a beautiful view.”

I glanced up at the painting and shrugged.

“It could be better.”

Silence fell between us.

“You’re engaged.”

“Yes.”

“Can you afford it?”

“It won’t be an expensive wedding.”

I turned on my heel to confront him head on.

“We’re fine, there’s no use in trying to talk me out of this.  You’re engaged yourself, your wedding is in under a week.”

He stayed silent as I turned away from him.

“Just move on.”

I stormed off.

 

* * *

 

Zero passed away a thousand years later.  We had three children, two daughters and a son.  His death really shattered me because I couldn’t remember anything else but crying after he passed away.  I even contemplated suicide but the children and grandchildren managed to convince me out of it.  But it wasn’t fair.  I wouldn’t die of old age.  It hurt to see him gradually getting older and I just stuck looking like I was in my early twenties.  Zero never slowed down in vampire hunting though.  Even on his death bed, he wanted to up and continue running the Association, despite letting our son take over.  He wanted to be buried with his family so we had moved over to Japan a century prior.

It’s been a week since the funeral and I was still at the graveyard.  I rarely moved away from his grave, I didn’t want to leave.  I wanted to pass on to the next life with the chance to be with Zero again.  I tossed a blood pill into my mouth and swallowed it bitterly.  That was the last one in the bottle.  I stared at the Kiryu gravestones, remembering how tricky it had been to get a plot to bury Zero in next to them.  Most people were going for being buried in trees or getting cremated nowadays and it certainly was expensive to have him buried.  But it was alright, I still had money left to support me for a few more years at least.  I had stopped painting traditionally for a few centuries now, people were into digital works now.  I didn’t enjoy drawing or painting digitally, painting traditionally was more fun.  Being perched on the stool whilst letting the paintbrush dance on the canvas, it was more appealing.

I rose from the bench, wiping the rain off my forehead and walked closer to the gravestone.  I was soaked to the bone as I stood there, looking down at his gravestone.

“You must be disappointed in me,” I sighed “I’m sorry, Zero.  But I just can’t make myself leave.  I miss you.”

My eye was most likely completely dried up by now.  No more tears because there wasn’t any left.

“Ryou even threatened to have someone escort me out.  It was very much empty, he knew I’d most likely send anyone to their own graves if they tried.”

I felt my bottom lip wobble again.

“Why did you leave me behind?  It felt like you left too quickly, it’s not fair that I didn’t even register that you were so old.  I’m sorry…”

I closed my eye as my shoulders began shaking with my dry sobs.

“I can’t live without you.  Let me join you.”

I nibbled down on my lip to stop me from crying loudly like a baby.

“I’m sorry…”

The rain stopped a little too suddenly and it was then I realised I wasn’t alone.  An arm wrapped itself around my shoulders and I opened my eye resignedly to see Kaname there with an umbrella over the two of us.  I suppressed my anger.

“What do you want?”

“Would you still like a spring wedding?”

God damn it!

“Is this really the right time to bring that up, _Nii-san_?”

I couldn’t help the bitterness in that.  He didn’t reply, just pulled me closer and pressed his lips to the top of my head.  Kaname and Yuki divorced after their eldest took the throne.  Yuki works at Cross Academy, continuing bridging the gap between vampires and humans.

“I don’t want to live anymore.”

“I understand that, but don’t leave.”

Kaname brought me into a tighter embrace.

“Let me love you.”

I clenched my fists as I glared into space.

“Don’t waste away, you deserve better.”

But I want to waste away.  I want to stay here until I’m nothing but little crystals.  I want to have it end at Zero’s side.  I want to join him so badly…  My legs moved on their own accord as Kaname pressed his hand to my back and began walking me out of the graveyard.  I dug my heels at the gates but Kaname was stronger, taking my hand and pulling me away, away from Zero.

“I don’t want to…”

“Mana…”

We stopped at a limousine and he opened the door for me.  I didn’t move to get in so he gently pushed me in, getting in after and closing the door.  We began moving as Kaname took my coat off and began using the towels beside him to dry my head.

“Your bun is falling out.”

“Don’t touch it!”

I grabbed his wrists as he tried to pull it out.

“No, don’t, please,” I begged.

“Mana, you need to let go.”

“No, no…don’t make me…”

It was the only thing Zero left behind.  Kaname was much stronger, I hadn’t really been taking care of myself so I was as useful as a candle on a dark stormy night.  I collapsed into his lap as he pulled the bun out and let my hair fall loose.

“It must have been heavy.”

I didn’t say anything.  He began drying it out, his thumb circling around the back of my head.

“I’ve got an art room set up for you.”

“…”

“We’ve just missed the blossom season so we can wait until next year.”

“…”

“It’ll just be a small ceremony, don’t worry about that.”

Stupid bastard.

“Take my blood, Mana.”

I curled up, facing away from him, my right side facing up so I wouldn’t have to look up at him.

“Mana.”

“No…”

My throat began burning with the bloodlust as I smelt the first few droplets of blood. 

“No fair…”

“Mana…”

I couldn’t control myself.  I sat up and sunk my fangs into his neck.  He held me steady as I drank and nearly choked on the influx of feelings that flooded in.  I pulled away quickly.  Kaname’s hands came to hold my face as he pulled me forward.  I pressed my hands against his chest and froze up, squeezing my eye shut as our noses bumped.  I tried to push away as he lingered.  I desperately wished that he wouldn’t press further but he did.  His lips were over mine and I beat my feeble fists into his chest.  Once the kiss was broken, he pulled me into a tight embrace.

“What should we have for dinner?”

I didn’t answer, just buried my face into his shoulder and began my self-hatred.

“It’s Sunday, perhaps a roast?”

Don’t you dare.

“Does chicken sound alright?”

Oh he went there.

“Not hungry.”

“You need to eat.”

“Don’t want to.”

“…I’ll have the servants prepare something.”

I stayed silent as he hugged me tighter, rocking me back and forth.  I found myself closing my eye and falling asleep, wanting to dream forever and never wake up to the horrid reality.


End file.
